Unsupervised (Drunk) Adult

Ok.......So......I'm not sure where to start. I usually write embarrassing things about my family, not myself. But this is just too hilarious to pass up. Anthony is to blame for ALL OF THIS!!!!! Because he left me unsupervised and drunk. And after 11 years of being together, he should know better. You see these doors in the picture??????? They ARE NOT EQUAL!!!!!!

Anthony and I had spent the night in our vacation condo dancing and drinking the night away. (He makes the BEST long island ice teas.) For over 2 hrs straight, we were dancing and drinking. The whole time he's telling me, "I put alot of alcohol in there. It's going to sneak up on you." I didn't care. What he should have warned is...."It's going to stay with you."

After drinking 2 "patricia-style" glasses of red wine and 3 "anthony-style" long island ice teas and 1 shot of Jack, I eventually go to bed. If you have ever had the please of drinking with me, you know I pee alot. Alcohol runs right thru me. So of course, after falling asleep I had to pee.......unsupervised.
I open a door and go into what I perceive to be the bathroom. It's dark and I don't want to wake Anthony up with the bathroom light. So I decide to close the door first, then turn on the light. But the damn door wouldn't close. I mean I'm trying friggin hard to close this door, but it just wouldn't close. I'm tuggin, pullin and trying my best!!!!!!! Then the pee-pee dance starts. I gotta get this door closed so I can turn on the light and pee or ELSE. (I'm too old to be having accidents.)
After an undisclosed amount of time, I give up. Out loud I say, "Fuck it." And I start feeling the walls for the light switch. I remember the light switch being on the right side. So I feel there. NOTHING. {Pee-pee dance is getting crucial.} Then I feel to the left. NOTHING. At this point I say to myself, "Damn, Open your eyes Patricia." (Yep you read that right. My eyes were closed the entire time.) So I open my eyes and still see nothing, because it dark in here. And the friggin door won't close. {The pee-pee dance has reached a critical level.} I back up a little bit to re-evaluate the situation and my head hits some hangers. I'm not in the bathroom at all. I'm in the closet.................and I really have to pee. 
With renewed vigor, open eyes and the urge to pee, I bust out of the closet and turn to run into the actual bathroom. (I'll let the readers use their imagination to decide if I made it or not......)

When I awoke, I noticed that the closet door was broke........Good thing Anthony can fix anything...........

Oh and where was he during this entire ordeal????? Knocked out sleep, not far from the closet I was about to pee in.
#unsupervisedanddrunk

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