"Feeling bombed, I began to research my situation. I was surprised and saddened that I wasn’t alone. Parents across the US were losing custody of their children because they are essential workers or having to make drastic career changes. It seems, from my point of view, that divorced women are the target. I know of at least 3 other women who are currently fighting for custody of their children.
So I decided to fight too. The biggest fight between my ex-husband and I was the length of time. He wanted full custody for 3-6 months with no in-person visits, only virtual visits. I tried to compromise for 4-5 weeks. We were going back and forth in court. The judges really want the parents to work out the situation and come to a resolution themselves. They do not want to make a ruling because this will set a precedence for other COVID custody cases in the future.
But after several weeks, stern letters, attorneys and so much stress, it was starting to get to my son. This whole ordeal was taking a mental toll on him. It was at this point that I called the lawyer and requested an audience with the judge. The judges priority is and will always be the children. It must always be about the child. My ex-husband was made known that he cannot control what goes on in my house, how I get my groceries or when I run my errands. My son stated that he could only live 6 weeks with his father. So that is what we both agreed on. Because it was what he, the child, felt he could do. But before going to his father’s home, my son will be required (per my ex-husband) to test negative for COVID and quarantine away from their home for 2 solid weeks. He will not be allowed to leave his room for any reason. I will be able to virtually visit with him, but nothing more. Even all of his meals will be delivered to the his room. I, personally, feel like this is more undue trauma. So I will fight on.
My advice for others moms dealing with this is:
-Don’t personalize the problems
-Don’t be petty
-Keep communication short and to the point (Keep everything business-like because anything and everything can and will end up in court.)
-Keep it child-focused
-Stick to current events
-Don’t make any promises or agreement with the parent - wait for the judge
Remember working moms, you have rights as a parent and you can’t let anyone bully you. Don’t give up and don’t stop fighting for your rights as a mother."
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