Today, I flipped someone off. I gave them the bird. I even said a few explicitives in my head. And I'm okay with that. But after a careful reflection, I remembered that I was smiling while I did it. Not a fake smile, nor a sneer. But a genuine smile, saturated in happiness. Why? Why do I smile whenever I'm telling someone off or threatening to cause them bodily harm? This may not be normal, but I'm okay with that.
During my brief reflection, I realized that I always give off 2 meaning: #1 is my smile; the 2nd is whatever gesture I am showing or "un-positive" words I am saying. My smile means that I have not changed my humanity towards you. I truly harbor no bad feelings and love you still as a human being. Although I my threaten to beat the shit out of you, remember the smile. I will probably go and get you something to clean yourself up with afterwards. If I give you the "bird" or "middle finger," it means that I'm saying, "F*$@ you and the dumbass you road in on." But again, remember the smile. Before you being to F*$@ yourself and your dumbass, I will probably offer you a condom as protection because I'm sure one of you has an STD. So now you are beginning to understand. My smile means that I have not changed my humanity towards you, and will still be there for you in your time of need. And I'm okay with that.
My obscene gestures or words are pretty straight forward. If I tell you that I'm going to knock every syllable out of you mouth, I surely intend on doing so. 10 times out of 10 you probably said something you shouldn't have. If I give them the bird or tell them off, it's because they're a dumb ass with dumb ass ideologies. Or they did something that only a dumbass would do and the only way to communicate with a dumbass is to "flip" them off. (It's the offical end to a conversation in their language.)
Now, if I'm not smiling you need to leave my area immediately. Because 9 times out of 9 1/2 I'm planning your murder in my head.
These are some of my thoughts, questions, comments and "could-care-less"...