 Continued.....
"Feeling bombed, I began to research my situation. I was surprised and saddened that I wasn’t alone. Parents across the US were losing custody of their children because they are essential workers or having to make drastic career changes. It seems, from my point of view, that divorced women are the target. I know of at least 3 other women who are currently fighting for custody of their children. So I decided to fight too. The biggest fight between my ex-husband and I was the length of time. He wanted full custody for 3-6 months with no in-person visits, only virtual visits. I tried to compromise for 4-5 weeks. We were going back and forth in court. The judges really want the parents to work out the situation and come to a resolution themselves. They do not want to make a ruling because this will set a precedence for other COVID custody cases in the future. But after several weeks, stern letters, attorneys and so much stress, it was starting to get to my son. This whole ordeal was taking a mental toll on him. It was at this point that I called the lawyer and requested an audience with the judge. The judges priority is and will always be the children. It must always be about the child. My ex-husband was made known that he cannot control what goes on in my house, how I get my groceries or when I run my errands. My son stated that he could only live 6 weeks with his father. So that is what we both agreed on. Because it was what he, the child, felt he could do. But before going to his father’s home, my son will be required (per my ex-husband) to test negative for COVID and quarantine away from their home for 2 solid weeks. He will not be allowed to leave his room for any reason. I will be able to virtually visit with him, but nothing more. Even all of his meals will be delivered to the his room. I, personally, feel like this is more undue trauma. So I will fight on. My advice for others moms dealing with this is: -Stand firm -Don’t personalize the problems -Don’t be petty -Keep communication short and to the point (Keep everything business-like because anything and everything can and will end up in court.) -Keep it child-focused -Stick to current events -Don’t make any promises or agreement with the parent - wait for the judge Remember working moms, you have rights as a parent and you can’t let anyone bully you. Don’t give up and don’t stop fighting for your rights as a mother." Contact RealWorkWife @ realworkwife@gmail.com if you have a story you would like to share. Your Voice and Experience deserves to be heard. Like, Share and Donate. Donations can be made via CashApp $realworkwife. *Donations are used to assist working moms with childcare payments and to meet other family needs.
2 Comments
 Real Work Wife aims to bring issues that are affecting women to the forefront. COVID has negatively affected so many people. Nevertheless many people have persevered. Especially the “essential workers.” These workers have been on the front lines ensuring that the public have the care and resources they need to live a normal life. They often sacrifice their time and safety for the sake of public life and comfort. But sometimes those sacrifices are too much. This account is about a sacrifice that one may call too great. This mother, an essential worker, almost lost custody due to COVID.
“Our co-parenting started off very positive. We adjusted our own parenting plans prior to COVID and agreed to bi-weekly custody. Our son was happy and my ex-husband and I listened to each other. But the problems began when school started and he became hyper vigilant about COVID. Because I am an essential worker, he claimed that I was intentionally putting our son at risk because I continued to work. This wasn’t just an argument between us, he took this all the way to court. I thought I was going to have to choose between my employment and being a parent. I started searching for other ways to subsidize my income. In order to keep custody of my child, I did what I thought was necessary. I thought working from home would appease my husband and stop all court mitigation. I explained the situation to my employer who required medical documentation in order for me to be permitted to work from home. Because I have a pre-existing condition, my doctor approved and I began working from home. This is exceptionally difficult for an essential worker, but I prove my worth each day. Me working from home, however, did not stop the court mitigation. My ex-husband wanted to know who I would have in my home, what grocery stores I went to, where I ran errands and a constant tracking of my whereabouts. This made my life even more uncomfortable. His constant questioning of my parenting made me feel insignificant. " To be continued...... Contact RealWorkWife @ realworkwife@gmail.com if you have a story you would like to share. Your Voice and Experience deserves to be heard. Like, Share and Donate. Donations can be made via CashApp $realworkwife. *Donations are used to assist working moms with childcare payments and to meet other family needs. |
Phoebe FreeThese are some of my thoughts, questions, comments and "could-care-less"... Archives
December 2020
Categories |
RSS Feed
