Once upon a time, each year after Christmas I would make my New Year’s Resolutions. I would write them down, prayer over them and create an action plan. They would usually be the same each year. Lose weight, spend more quality time with older relatives, save more money, eat better and workout at least 3 times a week. I will not bore you with the details of the action plan that went along with each resolution, but know that it was extensive. The action plan was my fool-proof way of ensuring that I would succeed with my New Year’s Resolutions. And I would succeed too. The first 4-6 months of the year were amazing. I would knock those goals out of the park! But then I would become lax. I would become too tired to pursue those resolutions any longer. And finally, I would settle and become satisfied with the Partial New Year’s Resolutions.
The one day I realized something. I wasn’t creating New Year’s Resolutions. There was nothing new going on that I needed to work on. There was nothing that I needed to “RE”Solution. What I was doing was simple. I was creating a year long to-do list for myself. Think about it. There’s a list and the action plan full of things that I needed to do and how I needed to do it. It’s just an long to-do list that will take me approximately 1 year to complete. It’s just a huge project on myself that I have to do all alone, no group work.
My life is busy enough without adding an annual to-do list. I have enough on my plate with 4 kids, a hubby, a full time job and not trying to lose myself in the process of living. I don’t need to add anything else to my plate. In actuality, I could benefit from removing some things. So for the past 2 years, I have creating New Year’s De-solutions. Instead of creating a list of things I need to do in order to “better myself,” I created a list of things I won’t do. It’s not a to-list, it’s more like a To-Don’t list. This To-Don’t list doesn’t need an action plan or anything. There is no action to be had. All you need is hard will and determination. Here is my past New Year’s De-solutions, aka The To-Don’t List:
-Don’t deprive yourself of the things you love. (Life is too short. You don’t want you last fleeting thoughts before death to be that you should have ate the cake and not worried about the calories or carbs.)
-Don’t arrive to work early. (Out of the 24 hrs in a day, you already spend 1/3 of them at work, another 1/3 sleep (hopefully) and the last 1/3 doing family-stuff like cooking and cleaning up after kids. Don’t give them a bigger piece of your day. Because if something would happen to you, your job would be posted before your funeral. Nope, definitely don’t arrive to work early, just on-time.)
-Don’t try to fix things that are broken. (Whether it’s broken relationship or a broken item in the home, maybe it’s broken for a reason. Let it be. Que Sera Sera!!!!!!)
-Don’t limit your time on social media. (You enjoy those things so keep doing them. Facebook is great read while using the bathroom. It helps when ignoring the questions the the kids are yelling through the door while Dad is readily available. SnapChat filters are amazing and fun. I love the glow they give my cheeks. Instagram is like an electronic photo album. But the photos are live, kind of like the photos in Harry Potter.)
-Don’t try to stop cursing. (There are only some adjectives that can be used to describe certain situations or reactions. Saying “oh fudge” or “fiddlesticks” just won’t do those situations any justice.)
Next I’m going to start working on New Year’s Resolutions for other people and I will pass them out like candy. It will contain a list of things that they can do for me for the New Year.
Someone recently asked me if I needed my man. They went on to say that I'm a strong and independent woman...and that she didn't "need" her husband, but she "wants" him and that means much more. She said some more stuff, but I was so caught off guard that I didn't really hear the rest. I pondered for a long time.
Do I need by husband? Do I want my husband? Are those my only options?
So I thought....and here's what I concluded.
I need food. Without food, I will die. Period. And once I'm dead, food is pointless. I need air. Without air, I shall surely perish quite quickly. Once I'm dead, I will no longer care about air. I need for my body to work properly. It is the only vessel that can contain a human soul.
I want a gold necklace. I can live with or without the necklace. (Although I really do want one.) I also want about $1,500 more money per month with a hefty savings and investment account. But if I don't get those, it's okay. And if I die, those things will no longer matter.
Now, when it pertains to my Hubby, the words "need" and "want" really don't effectively summarize the way in which I am tethered to my husband. (Keyword: Husband/Hubby, not "my man.") There is neither a want or a need. Again, there is neither a want or a need. It is something that is genuinely beyond my control. It is something that is bigger than mere verbs. He is the man that God decided to yoke me to.
Needs and wants are no longer concerns once you're dead. But what my hubby means to me....transcends anything I have ever felt. I can literally feel the energy that tethers me to him. It's surreal. I can literally feel when this string of energy is too tight, when it's loose, when it's pulled taut. This energy isn't something that death can destroy. I don't know for sure, because I've never dies before, but surely something like this transcends death and is welcomed into Heaven.
There has been times where he and I were laying in the bed together. I was thinking thoughts and questions inside my head and he would answer them aloud. The first time it happened, it shocked both of us. I was laying in down, with thoughts/questions running through my mind. Hubby then answered one of my questions. I whipped my head around to face him and asked, "What did you say?" He repeated his statement and looked at me quizzically. I shared with him that I didn't say anything aloud. He was shocked. He said that he heard me "clear as day." Although this shocked us, we just thought it was a fluke. Then it happened again, again and again. Now whenever he starts to answer my question or reply to me in general, he asks, "Did you say that aloud or in your head?"
So to answer her question, "Do I need my man?"
Our existence is intertwined. Our souls are tethered to each other. Those type of mortal needs and wants don't apply to us.
These are some of my thoughts, questions, comments and "could-care-less"...