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7/31/2018 0 Comments School Supply Induced Panic Attack So today I picked up the school supply list for my 4 kiddos and my jaw dropped. I know I'm a really cheap person. (I'm working on that.) But as I looked through the list, all I saw was $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Are these supplies going towards a good cost? Yes, absolutely!!! Education is highly valued. So what's my problem? I can't afford to buy all these supplies. I will literally go broke trying to by supplies for my biological kids. I'm sure that this is well over $300 in supplies. Last year, we spent a little over $800 in preparing for the school year. (Supplies, clothes, shoes....) School supplies then were about $275-$300 alone. AND WE CUT CORNERS!!! Geez.....Some things just won't be purchased this time.......unless the Grandparents are willing to help out. 😏
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7/31/2018 0 Comments Priorities As a new season of work starts, I am forced to sit down and re-prioritize my life. I say forced because I am tired even as I type. And it's a said thing to be tired before your season begins. This is going to be my season of blessings, prosperity and joy. And quite frankly, I want to have enough energy to enjoy the benefits that I will reap. Therefore, I need to re-prioritize. Some things are just gonna have to go!
Here's what is currently on my list: -Training for that 10 miler or possible 1/2 Marathon (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) -Working (Monday - Friday) -Checking Stocks (Daily) -Dinner (Nightly) -Date Nights and Wife-ing (Friday Nights/Nightly) -Family Time (Saturdays) -Ballet (Tuesday) -Boy Scouts (Thursdays) -Homework (Monday-Thursday) -Cleaning (Daily) -Grocery Shopping (Saturday) -Robotics (Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday) -Kids Baths (Daily....if possible) -Chilling with my Sisters (Some Sundays) -Blogging and Writing (Nightly) -Zeta Phi Beta Sorority (Random) -Reading (Whenever I'm breathing) -Fellowshipping at Church (Sundays) -Being a Mom/Adult (Daily) And I'm sure that I am forgetting something. Anyhow, I don't want to work a full day 5:30am (wake up) - 4:30pm (leave work), only to then spend the next 4 hours (4:30pm - 8:30pm) ripping and running kids all over town for extra-activities. Not to mention homework, baths, and dinner. I mean seriously!!!! I'm only one person. I want to be able to leave work with my kids and go home. Seriously, for the past 10 years, I have NEVER BEEN ABLE TO JUST LEAVE WORK AND GO HOME. And now I'm tired. Sidebar......I don't think my heart can take much more either. Stress is more dangerous for my heart than jogging is!!!!! My schedule for July is pictured here. July was a slow month. A SLOW MONTH. I had 4 days, out of 31, in which there wasn't anything planned. The kids extra-activities are not on this calendar. Neither is homework, baths, dinner, household errand and church. And if I don't prioritize and slow down, August could be a beast. Plus, I don't want to be moving so fast that I run right past my blessing. 7/23/2018 0 Comments I curse....just a little..... I curse, I admit this. I have decided that I'm smart enough to use a more diverse vocabulary rather than cursing. There are 2 battles raging inside my conscience that fight for me to stop cursing. One is a Christian and one is a Mom.
The Christian I've heard many Christians say that cursing is bad. But I have a hard time believing that the "cursing" in the Bible is the same "cursing" that I am talking about today. In the Bible, to "curse" someone (in my interpretation) is to say and hope that something bad happens to someone. Take Psalms 10:7 "His mouth is full of curses and deceit and oppression; Under his tongue is mischief and wickedness." To me, anyone who who is lying, belittling, or praying for harm or injury to come upon someone is, in fact, cursing. So when people say, "I hope she gets fired...", "You are pathetic and stupid....", "You should just go kill yourself...", are cursing. I'm pretty sure that no one in biblical days said the words "fuck" and "damn". They might have said, "what the hell." If you doubt me, click and read about the Origin of the Swear Words by Sanity Found. So, when I say "What the fuck?" or "What in the hell were you thinking?" or "Just pick up that damn toy?" I am not wishing ill on anyone, I'm just using an form of language that expresses my state of awe at the moment. (BTW...I do not say fuck to my kids.) But the Bible also says... * "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth" (Ephesians 4:29). * "If you think you are being religious, but can't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and everything you do is useless" (James 1:26, CEV). Soooooooo, I I can't control myself, the person I know best, then what am I really doing? Mom One day Eve was doing THE MOST!!! Whining, throwing stuff in the car and fighting with her brothers all while we're trying to run errands. So we pulled up at our last errand stop, I told Eve that I was going to "whoop her little ass." So I proceeded to get out the car and get Eve out. I gave her a whoopin while her brothers exited the car from the other side. I then bent down to Eve's level and told her to dry her face and get herself together because we are about to go into the building. (I don't want her walking around with that "I just got my ass beat" face.) So we go in, do our shopping and leave. When we get to the car, Elliott says... Elliott: Mom, you forgot to whoop Eve's ass. Me: What? Elliott: You forgot to whoop Eve's ass Mom. Me: ......😳... Elliott: Remember Mom, when we were in the car you said that you were going to whoop Eve's ass. See, you forgot. Me: Elliott, you shouldn't say that word. Elliott: What word Mom, whoop???? Me: No, you shouldn't say ass. It's an adult word. Elliott: Oh okay Mom. Sooooo, are you going to whoop Eve's...you know...that word I can't say. Me: (Eyes closed and hand over face) I already did Elliott. Elliott: But I didn't see it. Me: Get in the car. Just get in the car. Sooooo, yeeeaaaaa, if I don't want my kids cursing, then maybe I shouldn't??? I don't know if that's a good justification. There's alot of things I can/should do that my kids can't....yet. Plus, if there's a case of "stranger danger" and someone is trying to grab you, I tell my kids to let the F-bombs drop!!!! So, people can you help me to find better words to use? Leave me some actual substitutions for fuck, damn, hell and shit. I don't want those fake subs either, like "Instead of saying fuck, say "Oh fudge-cake" instead. No, I mean real intellectual words to increase my vocabulary. 7/10/2018 0 Comments Runner-ish Girl For over a year, I've been running 5ks. I started last year in April after the Sista Hood Strut. During that time in my life, work was very unpleasant. I felt as if the Devil was attacking me on every angle. So I wanted to simplify my life and get back to the basics. The Sista Hood Strut reminded me of all the 5Ks I would do doing college because I had nothing better to do. My time during college was very....basic. (I could also add more adjectives to describe my college experience, but this isn’t that kind of post. Teeheehee)
So my sister and I decided that we would do at least 1 race, 5K, every month for an entire year. Last year, between the months of April and December, we completed 10 5k races. Yes!!!! In 8 months we completed 10 races! Was it easy? NO. Did I have fun? Sometimes. Did I give up? Never! Even when I was diagnosed with a “heart disease” in May 2017, I did not let that stop me. I kept going and I kept pushing. There were some races in which my only goal was to cross the finish line and enjoy the after party. (These race after parties are LIT!!!!) So far this year my sister and I have completed 10 races. 10 races in 6 months! We have another 11-13 races before the end of this year. In a week, I will have a “heart procedure” done. That won’t stop me either. In the name of Jesus! It will, prayfully, allow me to be faster! Zoom zoom zoom!!! But I titled this post “Runner-ish Girl” because I’m not a full fledged runner. Sometimes I trot, sometimes I jog, sometimes I walk and there was even this one time where I actually RAN. But I never stop. I just keep going and going. There is so much encouragement to be found on the pavement of Memphis. I doesn’t matter your size or activity level. There are overweight runners, underweight runners, handicap runners, runners with heart problems, runners with knee problems, runners who should probably be in the Olympics, runners with foot problems and the list can go on and on, longer than Bubba talking about the variety of shrimp. Nevertheless, what ever your goal is, go for it and don’t stop. (Unless it’s stupid or immoral, then stop immediately 😑.) 7/8/2018 0 Comments MVPMVP - What Makes Me a Valuable Player in God's Kingdom
What makes me so special and unique that I am valuable to God? Nothing that I can think of. I’m just being honest. I have done nothing or been through anything that another woman hasn’t already endured. Have I experienced hell? Yes, and so have many other women. Have I overcame huge obstacles in my life? Yes, but who hasn’t. There is nothing special about me in the eyes of the public. I’m only 31 years old. I am a mother of 4 amazing children; an 8 year old boy, twin 4 year old boys and a 3 year old girl. I’m married and soon will be celebrating 10 years of happy & holy matrimony. I am and educator. (Teaching is my Gift. I can teach anyone ANYTHING!) But again, none of these characteristics set me apart from other “players” in God’s Kingdom. Nothing makes me different. Being Christian isn’t a automatic ticket to heaven. Let alone a way to win the prestigious title of MVP. Can people tell that God is all in my life by the way I carry myself? Sure! I’ve been told on many occasions. That qualifies me to be a part of God’s Kingdom, but that’s not a sure thing either. I love the Lord and believe in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost and that Jesus died for me. But that sounds so typical. Not like MVP material at all. Now that I know, or at least feel, that I am a player in God’s Kingdom, I ask myself why not a Most VALUABLE Player. It’s because I feel broken. I feel lost. I’m more conscious and awake of the world. I feel like Eve after she ate the forbidden fruit. My eyes are too open. My visions are to clear, yet confusing at the same time. I feel like my spirit is trying to tell me something my mind can’t comprehend. There’s something going on in the Spirit that I can’t quite put my finger on. Things are moving and stirring. And it hasn’t heated up yet. So I just rest in God. I just rest in God. I am not worthy to work in God, so I just rest in Him. ***Days Later.*** I am a Most Valuable Player in God’s Kingdom because I am. Simply because I am. I cannot lean on my own understanding in determining if I am a MVP. I just have to trust God that I am. And know that I am. I am broken, but I am also fixable and mendable. My soul isn’t filled with self, but ready to be filled with Him. I am a Most Valuable Player not because of who I am today, but because of who I have the potential to be tomorrow. With God, I can perform miracles so great people would call them magic. I am unstoppable with God. My spirit cannot be contained. I am like a pawn in chess. I may start off weak in the beginning, but once I make it to the other side, I can become anything. Even a Queen if I choose. I am valuable to God because I am His. I AM HIS. 7/4/2018 0 Comments I Dunno....and that's okay. Everyday we are faced with tons of decisions. Some we make, and some we avoid. This week I encounter 2 strong women. Both battling with decisions to make. These weren’t light decisions, but rather lifestyle decisions.
As I listened intently to both women, I noticed some eerie similarities. Both women questioned themselves. They questioned if they were making the right choices. They questioned if they were making the wrong choices. They pondered, they back-tracked and shoulders were shrugged. They reminded me of……myself. I too was once full of indecision. I would question myself and my own intuition. But now, I followed the advice that I gave these ladies. —You don’t have to make a decision right now. Nor do you have to make a decision tomorrow or next month. The only thing you are obligated to do is worship God and be happy. Everything else (and I mean everything else) is secondary. -- Sometimes we women put restraints on our own life. We create ridiculous checklist to determine where we should be in life and what we should be doing. Sometimes we put too much “importance” on the traditional ways of life. {Go to school…graduate…work…get married…have kids…perfect parenthood…age gracefully…} Who decided that you should live that life? Did you or is it some type of “social norm” that you’re trying to follow? God gave us free will. Key word is FREE!!!! God gave us the freedom to make decisions and not to be anchored by decisions. I repeat…. —You don’t have to make a decision right now. Nor do you have to make a decision tomorrow or next month. The only thing you are obligated to do is worship God and be happy. Everything else (and I mean everything else) is secondary.-- Yes, I know this may sound hypercritical since I am married (11 yrs) with 4 moderately normal kids, but that’s the life that works for ME! If it hadn’t worked for me, I would not have done it. Period!!!! I have an “Airplane Approach” when it comes to making me happy, my husband happy and my kids happy. Whenever there is an emergency on an airplane, you are required to take care of yourself first, THEN help others. And you know what makes me happy????? Being secured with the knowledge that the only thing I must accomplish is to worship God and be happy. Everything else will get done once that is accomplished. Work will get done. Children will get cleaned and feed. Hubby will be cuddled (sometimes by force). Books will get read. TV will be watched. Miles will be ran. Also, who the hell is gonna judge me for MY decisions? My neighbor? Another Mom? Family/Friends?????? Honestly, yes. Yes, they will all judge you based on the decisions you make. Yep, they’ll have have something to say, either to you, to your back or just to themselves. But guess what?!?!?!?! They are SECONDARY!!!!!! Tertiary or more….if I’m being honest. I’ve learned that people are going to say what they want about you to who they want and there’s not much we can do about it. So why care? If I want to eat out every night instead of cook. So be it. If I want to drink wine and whiskey instead of water. So be it. If I put off going back to school for another year. So be it. It’s so liberating. Try it. |
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