 Race season is upon is almost upon us!!!! I get giddy just thinking about it. It’s time for extra yoga classes, drinking 3 liters of water per day, cool down days in the pool or just scenic walks and (most importantly) the race after-parties. The other 11 races I completed this year were just warm-ups compared to what’s to come. Although I thoroughly enjoy pitter-pattering on the pavement. (AKA Running), I consider myself a recreational runner. I enjoy running just to feel the breeze in my hair and the fresh air in my lungs. I love, love, love taking in the scenery of Memphis as I run.
I am not a competitive runner…I repeat… I AM NOT A COMPETITIVE RUNNER. Therefore, the thought of me getting a medal because I’ve placed in a race is laughable. It’s just not gonna happen. Especially when I’m running against some purely amazing Memphis runners who run an average of pace of a 4.6 min mile…during a half marathon!!!!! I just can’t compete with that! But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t work as hard or train as hard as those RoadRunners (beepbeep). I showed up to the race, I ran and I FINISHED. I put forth my best effort and most times I actually beat my personal best. And just like those light speed runners, I would like a little recognition. Earlier this year I ran an entire series. I was present and pushed myself for the 3K, 5K, 8K and the 10K. I ran thru mud and damp woods. I ran down ravines and pulled myself out of creeks using a rope. And all I received was a t-shirt. I paid, I participated and all I got was a t-shirt!!!!!!!!! WITW!!! #cakeofmisery You see, with most single-race runs, you get a minimal of a t-shirt, a bib and a certificate with your time printed on it. Those are basic minimums to any race in Memphis. With a series race, a race that includes multiple race days, you get a little more. You usually get some neat swag and invitation to an exclusive after-party. But this wasn’t the case with this series. Oh no, not at all. They did not have after-parties after each race for this series, so I was really looking forward to the culminating party. Thus far, I have only received a t-shirt for completing 4 races. When I heard that the culminating party would be at a brewery, I was overjoyed. A t-shirt and free beer!!!!! Now that’s how you show appreciation for your recreational runners. Even though I didn’t win anything, I was looking forward to the free beer and fellowship. I was floored when I found out that the beer wasn’t free. #cakeofmiserywithsprinkles You read right!!!!! They had an after-party for series racers, but the beer wasn’t free. I knew something was up when the runners who did win received their trophy and left. At first, i thought it was odd. But hey, more beer for me. But when I found out the beer wasn’t free, I left too. Now I can hear those over-over-achievers yapping their gums about participation rewards. “Back in my day, kids didn’t get trophies and stuff for just being on the team. You only got a trophy if you actually won something. They’re making kids these days too soft.” Well….#1. I ain’t no damn kid. #2. I’m not on a damn team. I ran those races with my own 2 legs. #3.I like getting stuff when I work hard. PERIOD! Don’t play down my effort and not acknowledge said effort because I didn’t come out on top! Hell, I wasn’t at the bottom (aka last place) either!!!! GIVE ME A FINISHER’S SOMETHING!!!!! Tshirt+Certificate+Free Beer+After-Party= A Happy Memphis Runner P.S. - Where I run really doesn’t matter, just have beer for me when I finish. #realworkwife
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 Can a marriage truly survive anything? We have survived being butt-ugly broke, working crazy hours, uneven parenting, random arguments and more. But just because we survived doesn’t mean that we came away undamaged. Our picture perfect life isn’t so perfect anymore. There are cracks, blemishes and images of things that we don’t even recognize. No cut is ever truly healed by human hands or human words. No thing is forgiven to the extent to which it is truly forgotten. You may not hold a grudge, or feel a certain way when re-confronted with that information, but the memory is still there. It is still there. It is a permanent crack, a forever scar, on what was once thought of as perfect. And we can find ourselves unconsciously acting different because of the forgiven memory. Are words that need to be heard left unspoken for the sake of feelings? Are tiptoes around the heart truly what makes it grow stronger?
How can a marriage truly survive anything when its survival depends on the 2 people who caused the marital apocalypse? So it begs to question…did your marriage really survive or did it become something else all together? There is a difference between survival and adaptation. Survival is day-to-day. It’s a slow stagnation which you never truly gain ground to make a difference. Survival takes more from you than you really have to give. It shortens your happiness and deprives you of joy. What else in life can you focus on when your survival is on the line? Adaptation is the progress of moving forward when all things around you slowly become different, unrecognizable. With adaptation, your perspective on life changes in such a way that physical manifestations happen to you and around you. You being to adapt and your situation beings to adapt to you. (Whether it be negative or positive is given to your FREE WILL.) Adaptations gives you the ability to have all things made anew so that you can experience the best possible outcome. Can a marriage truly adapt to anything? We have adapted to be butt-ugly broke, working crazy hours, uneven parenting , random argument and more. Because we adapted, we are no longer the same person as we were at the beginning of the ordeal. We now contain thoughts, feelings, emotions, and experiences that we did not have knowledge of before. Sometimes we even have battle scars. These scars are just a reminder of our past. (Lest we forget how far He has bought us.) Forgiveness evokes an understanding. A sick, yet simple, sort of empathy. Sometimes coming to terms and understanding the experiences of someone who hurt you can physically make you ill. But with understanding comes knowledge. The knowledge to move on and let go. The knowledge to set yourself free. How can a marriage truly adapt to anything when its adaptations depends not the 2 people who caused the martial apocalypse? Easy. Because out of every fire, thrives life. In the most barren of places you will find hope. When you aim to adapt yourself, He will manifest the situation around you to adapt to your vibes, your energy, your soul. And whatever doesn’t adapt, surely becomes extinct. So choose wisely in your marriage. You will either survive, adapt or become extinct. I choose life. And I choose to have that life more abundantly. I look forward to continuing to adapt with the man that I am yoked to. We will adapt when the kids become teenagers. We will adapt during financial strain and financial blossoms. We will adapt thru sickness and thru health. We will adapt individually, yet together. We will adapt into human beings who are so perfectly imperfect yet unconditional loved by the Most High. Allow your imperfections to evolve into something greater. 4/8/2019 1 Comment Why God, Why????? God, WHY is parenting so hard? Like seriously, this is the hardest thing ever!!!! After the kids came into my life, there is this constant battle to turn that little person into the best person they can be. And most of the time I’m not even sure if I’m winning or losing the battle. It’s not as if I have “fallen off the horse” of parenting. It’s more like…I’m not even sure I was ever on a horse to begin with! Maybe I am riding along a disc-earth that floats on top of an elephant as it rides on the back of a giant turtle thru space (yep….Terry Pratchett.) Of all the technological advancements, why hasn’t someone figured out how to make parenting easier.
Furthermore, I never know if I’m doing a good job or not. Of course there’s the law telling you what to do and what not to do for a child, but no “normal” parent is trying to break the law or anything. (And I do consider myself normal.) Now, let’s think about this for a minute. When I’m baking a new cookie recipe, I will know in 8-12 minutes if that cookie recipe will be any good. I can plant a seed and know within a few months whether or not I have done a good job assisting that seed to bear fruit. I can get a great rate online for car insurance in under 15 minutes. But parenting gives no feedback. I can be raising a kid for a solid 18 years only to find out that they are rotten. I don’t receive any type of performance reviews for all this hard work I put in. I don’t get a raise or a stipend, not a single certificate or even a “Thank You” letter from the Department of Children Services for doing a good job. But let me slip on my parental duties and everyone will be ready to throw the axe at me. Seriously DCS, sending me a little token of appreciation on the kids’ birthday just to show that you appreciate my steps towards creating a decent citizen isn’t too much to ask for. Did you know that there are animals who are born ready to conquer life.? Seriously, just Google it! But us….No….I must parent for a solid 18 years, in some cases longer, before they know if they’ve raised a decent human being. 18 YEARS!!!!!!! That’s 216 months or 6,570 days!!!!!!!!! One would think parenting would become easier the more kids you have. But NO!!!! It’s equally difficult, if not more, with each child. What worked with Child #1, may not work with Child #2. In my case, what worked for Child #1 did not work with Child #2A or Child #2B. What worked for Child #2A did not work for Child #2B. What worked with Child #2A or Child #2B definitely did not work for Child #3. It’s like each child came with a different set of college-level prerequisites and a syllabus written in Klingon. I bet some parents even have Parental Depression. {Parental Depression: A mental disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities due to having no time of your own, thus causing significant impairment in daily adult life. Parents with Parental Depression often experience periods of “Why Do I Even Bother” and “How Many Times Must I Ask You The Same Thing” followed by “When the Hell is Bedtime” or “Just Leave Me Alone.”} And if you’ve been wondering why I haven’t been blogging lately…..this is why…PARENTING IS TOO HARD. (sips beer, rolls eyes and walks off stage.) |
Phoebe FreeThese are some of my thoughts, questions, comments and "could-care-less"... Archives
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