Memphis is My Boyfriend and We Got in a Fight - Feb Edition

I was all geared up for another fantastic night with Memphis. I had my girls, jazz music and great food all lined up. However, that was no entirely the case. It first started with ridiculous drivers. I mean, who goes 30 mph in a 30 mph zone???? Not anyone living in Memphis. When the sign says 30 mph, it’s simply a suggestion. Meaning….It wouldn’t hurt you to go 40 mph at all. So I drove the entire mile behind this old ass, rinky dink car. Going 30 mph…..MAX. Sometimes the car would drop to 25 mph and my frustration would rise to 50 mph.
Strike 1 Memphis.
The night improved slightly from there. I arrived at my sister’s house to do our pre-party warm ups. (That was the best time of the night.) It is always a treat to be in the presence of my sisters!
Afterwards, we left to check out this new jazz spot. When I saw they had a $15 cover charge, I was a little hesitant. But one of my favorite chefs were cooking there so I thought I might give it a try anyhow. The atmosphere was set! It was relaxing, inviting and soft jazz music played in the background. Once we were seated, we took a look at the menus. The drink menu was extensive (good sign), but the food menu was limited (bad sign). I know the chef to be an amazing cook and I was hoping that Shrimp and Grits would be on the menu, but it wasn’t. Nevertheless, I carried on and ordered a sausage and cheese plate and the most tender smoked wings of my life. I would have loved to just sit and enjoy my delicious foods, but I kept having to ask for napkins and straws for the drinks. Seriously! Napkins should be automatic whenever you order finger food. To add wood to the fire, the band started late. Now I have to admit, once they started playing, it was amazing. We danced and swerved and swayed our hips. I really enjoyed myself. I sang out loud. I danced and I was the perfect wing-girl. While the food was good and reasonably priced, the drinks were not. A large cocktail cost $10-12. Now, I understand that most people might pay this much for a drink….NOT I. If I pay $10 for a drink, it better take me to Pleasantville, to Margaritaville, to Whoville and back!!!!!!!! These drinks took me straight to Thrist-ville. Besides that, I ordered a large and truly got the regular size for an American cocktail. It wasn’t anything “large” about it. And I know large things. After dancing to the bands’ first set, we were hungry and thirsty. We didn’t dare order more food or drinks, because $$.$$. So we asked our waitress for water, only to be told that we would have to pay for water!!!! Hell, I don’t even pay for water at Ruth Chris! What the hell do they look like charging for some damn H2O? Shortly afterwards we left.
Strike 2 Memphis.
In short, the experience at the jazz spot would have been so much better if there were some slight changes:

-If you are going to do a cover charge, also offer a time in which there is no cover charge. Many places in Memphis offer patrons who arrive between 8-10pm no charge, and after 10 pm, patrons would have to pay a cover charge.
-Advise the waitresses on giving out napkins and straws.
-If you are going to have live music, please make sure they arrive on time and that there are no HUGE GAPS between the sets. We were able to play on our phones, use the restroom, settle and close our tabs, look up other places to go and then leave BEFORE the next set started.
​-When your food is THAT good, serve bigger portions! yum yum
We decided to go to Craft Republic to have good food, good drinks and play some pool. (It’s the old Fox and Hound spot.) Well…we had none of those. I was looking forward to getting a flight of local beers only to discover that they didn’t have Gotta Get Up To Get Down or Tiny Bomb. I couldn’t even settle for Michelob Ultra. Luckily, I was saved by a Memphis Made Fireside. We ordered our beers and food at the same time. Our beers took 20 mins to get to our table. It took the food over an hour!!!! My Bleu Burger, didn’t have any bleu. The fries, however, were really tasty. They were sprinkled with salt, pepper and parmesan cheese. The fries couldn’t save the sub-par service. One of my sister NEVER GOT HER FOOD. However, after talking to the manager and getting our entire bill comped, she did leave with her pizza in a to-go box and a complimentary dessert.
Strike 3 Memphis.
So yea, Memphis was not good to me last night. I’m not sure what I did to deserve this kind of treatment, but the make-up sex better be FIRE!!!!!

---