![]() Once upon a time, I was downstairs minding my own business when I heard a loud crash followed by a terrible scream and the words, “OH NO!!!! HELP HIM. HELP HIM.” I get up from the couch and head upstairs. Meanwhile, anxious thoughts flood my head. What the hell happened now?!?!? I wonder how much blood there actually is? I wonder if my mom can watch the kids while I’m at the emergency room? I hope the emergency room isn’t crowed. Yes. These are the actually thoughts a mother of 3 boys has whenever there is a loud boom and crying. Nevertheless, I make it upstairs and the twin’s bedroom is an utter mess. But thankfully, all 3 boys are standing, there is no visible blood and tears are minimal. (Now I feel okay fuss.) Me: What the hell are y’all doing? Before I give you Aiden’s reply, let me describe the scene I walked in on. The twins each have a twin sized bed, one bed is on the left side of the room and another is on the right side of the room. There is a tent, fully pitched, by the doorway. Attached to the tent is a crawling tube. This tube is connected to another tube that continues into the room, between the 2 beds and all the way to the wall. This tube is covered by a brown quilt. The brown quilt extended from one bed, over the tube and onto the other bed. The tubes are fortified with pillows on each side. (I can only assume this is to keep them from rolling.) There are more pillows and covers. It’s very colorful and reminds me of a “Genie in a Bottle” home. (You know, pillows and covers everywhere.) Except that home been in a tornado and had a visit from The Cat in the Hat with his friends Thing 1 and Thing 2. (Please tell me you have seen Mike Meyer’s Cat in the Hat!) Aiden: I was building a city and there was an accident. Me: Huh? Aiden: There was an accident in the city. The tunnel collapsed on Elliott. Me: What? (Places hand on forehead.) Aiden: Mom…This is the city….There was an accident…Elliott was in the tunnel…It collapsed…We had to rush him out. Me: (Stare……I’m trying to determine if they are pretending this scenario of not.) Elijah: Come on Aiden, let’s show her what happened. Elliott, get back in the tunnel. Me: No!!! Didn’t he get hurt the first time? All 3 boys: Blank stare…… Me: Okay, Okay…..How did the tunnel collapse? Aiden: Elijah was walking on the road that goes over the tunnel. {Aiden is talking real slow like I’m dumb on something. He’s about to get hit.} Me: (Deep breath) So the brown quilt is a road. All 3 boys: YES!!! Me: And Elijah was walking on the road. Elijah: Yes, I was walking from one side of the road to the other side of the road. Then I fell on the tunnel. Me: (To Aiden) You realize that it’s just a blanket over a tunnel. It has no real support. Aiden: Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh…….So that’s why he fell thru. (The twins nod in agreement.) Me: (I’m so done with this situation. There are no injuries and no need to give myself a headache.) Aiden you will receive a pink slip for building structures with no support in the house. You also owe me $2 as a fine. Aiden: Ok Mom. Okay guys, lets fix this. I walk back downstairs, but little did I know that this would only be the first of many “pink slips.” Aiden, our little engineer loves to build. He collects boxes and other random stuff to create something new. I have now banned empty boxes from the house. I have run out of glue, Play-doh is no longer allowed upstairs, couch cushions must now remain on the couch, buildings cannot obstruct the upstairs hallway, tunnels cannot go on the stairs, the balcony is completely off-limits, top bunk beds cannot be used in forts, you cannot use things on the walls as anchors, mattresses cannot be used as slides (especially when sliding into an un-anchored bookshelf) and the scissors are very dull. One day he will actually have a real toolbox………Jesus!!!
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Mommy Phoebe FreeThese are simple letters to my kids...about their antics. Archives
November 2021
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