Broken Record

If she whines one more time…..
If they act like everything is a play routine while they’re suppose to be cleaning….
If his back pack looks like that one more time…..

I am officially a broken record. I say the same damn things over and over and over again. I have to ask the kids the same questions over and over and over again. And it is EXHAUSTING!!!!!!

Every morning I say, “It’s time for the Lockhart kids to wake up! Today is starring Aiden the Engineer, Elliott the Artist, Elijah the Athlete and Eve the Fashionista. Ok kids, get dressed. Put your pants on. Get dressed. Why is your shirt not on? FOR GOODNESS SAKE PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!!! What do you mean you lost your socks?!?! Put your shoes on. Did you pack your snack? Are you taking a lunch? Did you brush your hair? Well, brush it again. Breakfast time. Eat the breakfast I fixed or starve. Eat your food. Eat your food and stop playing. No you cannot have ranch. You have enough syrup on your plate. No more talking. Eat, get away from the table and get your backpacks ready. Don’t leave the table looking like a dumpster. Go brush your teeth. Did you brush your teeth? Brush them as if you’re trying to get the dirt off them. Why do you look homeless? Put some lotion on your elbows. Stop playing!!!! We leave in 10 minutes.

By the time I get to work, I’m already exhausted. And the broken record doesn’t end there. Every morning in the library, it’s the same thing. “Sit down and act like you have some sense. This is my place of business, not a playground. Be quiet!!!! Why are you so loud? I don’t care, just play by yourself in a corner somewhere. I cannot deal with that whining today. I just CAN NOT! Get your backpack. No I don’t have a snack. You should have ate breakfast. How could you forget your backpack??? That’s your only job! Get ready to go to class. Twins don’t leave your sister."

And after school, it’s the same thing. “Eat your snack and watch the movie. Sit down. Stop running around. Sit down. Stop being so loud. Come and get a few licks ‘cause I’m tired of telling you the same thing over and over.” Sometimes they ask me the same question 4-5 times per day. My answer doesn’t change. My answer never changes! Yet, they still ask. Day in and Day out.

And God just give me strength if I have to do anything after school like Scouts, Church or Ballet. Remember, I was exhausted by the time arrived to work. Now 9 hrs later…..I didn’t gain more energy. I am making a true intentional effort to be present during any activity after school.

The only solace I ever get is when I am taking a candlelit shower or when I’m asleep. And even sleep hasn’t been as sweet as it used to be. Come to think of it, I’ve had to settle with regular showers since the kids broken my candle last month. (I can’t win for losing.) I get some, emphasis on some, peace when I listen to my audiobook or cooking. I pray for the day when I no longer have to repeat the same things. But talking to parents of older kids, that prayer is in vain.

However, every Friday evening I look forward to dropping the kids at Grammie’s house just to have a few hours of peace. Also, every few weeks I do get some considerable time to myself. (Arranged by my Tall, Dark and Handsome.) I used this time to fix this broken record. For a solid 24 hrs, I am no one’s mother or wife. I am only me. And the only person I have to be considerate of is…myself. And during those times, I say less than 200 words all day.

I try to be patient with my kids. I try to extend Grace, Mercy and Favor to them as I would like God to do for me.  But they are truly stretching me thin. I think I may go back to the days of pre-whoopins. A “pre-whoopin” is a butt whoopin that you got before you would  do something wrong. Before leaving the house, the kids would get a pop on the butt for the foolishness they were about to bestow upon the world. It’s not my proudest parenting moment, but hey…..judge not lest yea be judged.
God please send the Holy Spirit with a prescription of patience for me.

Amen.

P.S.  - I think I may read my old post, Humbled by the Letter, to get a perspective on parenting.

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