​I have always been foretold that boys eat a lot. And I believed everyone who told me, but you are taking things too far. I know you mean well and I know you love my cooking. You are my cheerleader in the kitchen and my complimenter at the dining room table. But why must you ask me, "Ma, what you cookin?" ALL THE TIME!?!? Do I get a "Good Morning" greeting...NO...just "Ma, what you cookin?" 
Before breakfast,  "Ma, what you cookin?" 
At pick up from school,  "Ma, what you cookin?" 
During the 6 minute ride home,  "Ma, what you cookin?" 
Immediately after snack,  "Ma, what you cookin?" 
The ENTIRE 2 hours before dinner,  "Ma, what you cookin?" "Ma, what you cookin?"  "Ma, what you cookin?" 
To make matters worse, I tell you what I'm cookin and you still ask repeatedly. I'm not asking you to change who you are, but ....please stop asking  "Ma, what you cookin?" 50 times a day. Just Stop.

Love, 

Mom

I'm not sure where I should start. I guess the beginning is a great place to begin this roast. I asked you to do a regular task, clean your room. When I checked you room, at a quick glance, I wasn't impressed. The table and chairs by your window were not neat, your bed wasn't made and your shelf wasn't organized. But I kinda expected that from a 7 year old boy. But upon closer inspection, I discovered something even more appalling....your closet. By now, Aiden, you should know the type of Mom you have. (After all, you have known me all your life.) Why did you think that it was okay to stuff everything in your closet??? Did you think I wasn't going to check??? Because I can clearly recall when you pulled a stunt like this the last time...it didn't end well for you. So why would you do it again??? 
It works out best for you if you would just do what you're told the first time and do it RIGHT!!! Now, I must concoct a special kind of punishment for a special kind of boy...

I know you love me and you mean well, but NO really does mean NO. No matter what language you say it in or what country you travel to, NO will always mean NO. So I don't understand why "no" is followed by a tantrum or sneaky displays of disobedience.  Today I asked you to stay out of my bathroom for the hundredth time. A soon as I turn my back, you "allegedly" took the powder and spread it across your face and the coffee table. (Your twin brothers just sat back and watched.) Again, I love you Eve. I love you more than words can express. Nevertheless, "NO" undoubtedly means NO!!!!!!!!! 

Update: July, 17, 2018....
This still applies. No is just a hard term for her to comprehend.