All parents have had those awkward moments when our kids see something that we would rather them not to see. Perhaps an intimate moment that was glanced upon by young eyes. Maybe they "heard noises" and went to check on Mommy, only to find Mommy and Daddy wrestling...naked......

Well, this is not one of those moments. This is a moment in which those cute, little toddlers can make something so innocent seem...um...."distasteful." 

When I look at my wedding picture, I am filled with happy memories. I remember how excited I was to marry Anthony. I was even more excited to go on our honeymoon. The photographer was a perfectionist and took forever. The food was great and I had a BALL dancing. Family and friends surrounded us with pure joy for our union. All in all, it is still one of the most memorable and joyful days of my life. 

But now, whenever I look at this picture, I will think back to what my precious daughter said.

Eve: Mommy, that's a picture of you.
Me: Yep.
Eve: And that's Daddy.
Me: Uh-huh...Yep....
Eve: Daddy is giving you a hug.
Me: (I sit up to see what she's looking at. It's the same wedding photo you see here.) You are right Eve. Daddy is giving Mommy a hug.
Eve: And Mommy is getting naked.
Me: No, Eve. I am not.
Eve: Yes you are. Mommy, you are getting naked. You takin your clothes off. See Mommy, you getting naked. (She points to the picture as if I need clarification.)
Me: Eve...I am NOT getting naked. I have on a dress. It is just showing my shoulders. 
Eve: (She looks at me with a stern and serious look.) Mom, I see you getting nakedRIGHT THERE while Daddy is hugging you. (She then leaves the room.)

Can you just imagine Eve telling someone that we have a picture of Daddy hugging Mommy while she is getting naked?!?!?!?!?! What kind of people would they think we are?!?!?!

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing this "parenting" thing all wrong. Especially when it comes to my little girl. I have never had a daughter before, nor I have I ever babysat a little girl. I mean...the closest I came to little girls  was probably in the nursery at church when I would drop off the boys or sometimes I would pass by the pre-k kids in the hallway. But that was it. GOD made ME a MOTHER to a GIRL WITHOUT ANY PREREQUISITES OR TRAINING.
So, with that said......I'm literally winging this "raise a girl into a woman" thing. And frankly, I wonder if I'm doing it right. I feed her, clothe her and love her to pieces. We have tea parties and I sing to her when I wash her hair. I spank her when she's bad. I praise her when she does well. So why does she whine and glare at me sooooo much???

Here are just a few things TODAY as of 4:11pm that she has whined loudly.
 
1. Mom, that's my spot. I want to lay down. (I'm laying down in my own bed BTW. She has no claim here nor I ever done anything for her to think she does. She has her OWN bed in her OWN room.)
​2. Mommie, my nose is running. (7 times)
3. Mommy I want to lay down.
4. Mommy, he won't give me his toy. (Keyword: His toy, not her toy.)
5. NOOOOOOOOO....(Alligator tears starts.) (This starts whenever the following words are said aloud: "No", "Wait", "Stop", "Come here", "Hold On", "Whoopin", "Be quiet", "No Hitting", "You Can't" and many more I'm probably forgetting.
6. Ketchup is on my corndog, but I didn't dip it.
7. But I wanna come in the kitchen.
8. But I wanna drink it!!
​9. I only hit my brother!!!!!

Oh, btw....she's only 2. What is 13 gonna look like?????  ____ ____ ____ ____ (Fill in with a 4-letter word.)

This message might seem a little shady, but it isn't. It is just the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the  truth. 

When Aiden was a toddler, he would try to mock the way Anthony and I said "No." Well one day we asked him, "How does Grammie say "No"? He pondered for a moment and then said, "I don't know. Grammie doesn't say no." My husband and I thought this was funny and very true. Grammie may discipline you when you do "absolutely wrong...con't get out of it wrong....you were about to kill yourself wrong...are you trying to get my in trouble with your parents type of work.." BUT she doesn't necessarily tell you no. 

So let's fast forward 3 years later.

Eve is misbehaving. My mother, Grammie, is fussing at her and told her to go to time out. I walk into the dining room and this is what I see. Eve is laying across my mother in the most COMFORTABLE time-out position known to man.

I guess Grammie doesn't do time-out either. (Shade, but no Shade.)

It has been raining cats and dogs outside for a couple of days now. Yesterday the kids had to endure 12 hours with no electricity. (They survived 12 whole hours without Netflix and Nintendo Wii U. In other words, it was an old-school day afterschool.) Nevertheless, the kids really don't like storms. Especially the LOUD ones. So when it was thundering outside, I decided to use religion to explain the thunder rather than science. So, here is the conversation we had as I was tucking the kids in bed.

Aiden: Mom, why is it thundering so loud?
Me: Well Aiden, guess who controls the weather?
Aiden: The Devil.
Me; Well, no.....God does.
Aiden: Oh.
Elijah: Huh?
Me: God uses rain and storms to water the Earth. It's  just like when we water our garden to make everything grow more beautiful. God uses rain and storms to water the Earth.
Aiden: Ahhhh!!!! That makes sense. I wondered how those yellow flower and grass look so nice.
Me: (Wow...They're actually listening....Let's take this another step.)
Me: Also boys, God sometimes uses storms to make people be still and rest sometimes. Aiden, where is everyone when it is storming?
Aiden: In a house or in a shelter.
Me: That's right. Most people are usually in a house, sitting still and quiet.
Elijah: Or they're just dead.......
Me: (Exit stage left). (Yells from afar)....Goodnight boys!